Saturday, 12 June 2010

Fuck head

I'm alive.. still here.. fatter than ever..
exams are finally over, thank fuck.
failed them all tho, without a doubt.

Had another awful drunken episode last week. Probably one of the worst so far. I don't feel ready to talk about it yet.. its too... low and pathetic.
Spending weekend with boyfriend again soon. Need to pick myself up for it.
Not been taking my antidepressants recently either, didn't think taking a pill would be so much effort. But then again don't know whether I'm being lazy and have no motivation or its hysteresis of the mind. Fuck knows. Who cares...
either way I'm just a fuck head that is still struggling to make anything of herself.

You see, the thing is, you get beautiful people. Those who strive and never seem to fade. They are those people that are not just beautiful on the outside. But on the inside they do no wrong. Or the wrong they do, you would be a maniac to go against. The sort that will always be forgiven and will never make a single mistake that pushes them too far..
Then you get the people like me.. fuck heads. Those who just arnt..

Sorry, reason Ive not been writing.. I make no sense :S .. will carry on trying to find the words..
Other than that food is back on track as of exams being over.

Love Panda x


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