Monday, 8 March 2010

I don't know.


I am officially not looking forward to this weekend. I'm so stressed, my boyfriend wants me to stay over and my parents are going crazy at the idea, reminding me boys can't get pregnant but I can.

I have no idea what to do..
I wish everything was simple.
I need a flawless plan. Otherwise I'm just going to stick my ground and tell them I'm going and that's that!
Or I could just back down and be stuck alone.. Hmm.

Doctors again on soon, hopefully this one will be better.
Ive not been good the past few days, major binging and i need to pull my act together if I'm going to see him this weekend. Fuckfuckfuck, I really can't deal with this.
My parents treating me like a child, it is so embarrassing. grr..
If I stayed at his there would be 'rules' my parents would 'enforce', basically no sex, physical contact or being alone together.
They know I'm not a sweet, innocent little virgin. Fuck knows why they are still trying. Fuck sake tho, I'm old enough. I wish they would JUST GIVE UP, I'm not going to listen.
My mum likes to think that she knows best and they control every little bit of my life. I don't even live with them. I can't stand them.
Sadly though, my boyfriend thinks that I should be nice and listen to them and maybe they will listen to me. Which I know is NOT going to happen, I never win.

I can't seem to have a conversation with her anymore, it ends with name calling, me hanging up the phone. Our calls consist of threats, screaming, verbal abuse and yet more screaming. I don't know whats best, cause I can't seem to bite my tongue and take it, and yet I still don't do what I want.

I really want to get a new piercing or a tattoo. I have my nipples done and I used to have others but I took them out due to my pathetic parents having an OMG!MYDAUGHTER'SEVIL hissy fits. Boyfriend doesn't like piercings :(.
I don't know why I always do what other people want, I think its cause I'm scared, and I don't want to upset them :(.
I don't know what to doooo :( I'm panicking, want someone to just tell me what to do, cause I'm stressing and I'll end up fucking everything up.

Maybe I should just spend the weekend alone :(


Todays intake
-160

1 comments:

A.G. said...
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