Sunday 28 February 2010

control


Lazy day. Nothing exciting.
I had been fasting since Thursday. Broke it today with fruit.
I should exercise more.
Need motivation.

I miss my boyfriend :( soo much. Can't stand my parents at the moment either, I can't have a normal conversation with them without turning it into an argument.

I hate the way they think they are in control of everything. That I can't go to something or do anything without their permission. And it is true, because I am where I am, and that was their decision. I had asked them just for one weekend out of here to see him. He wanted me there for something important. My parents treat me like a child! That I can't go in case something happens, in case I can't handle drink per usual. In case I end up knocked up 8( that they neeeed to know everything!

*Grrrrr!* They would wrap me up in cotton wool if they could and have me never leave the house. Daddy's little angel.. yehfuckingright! Then when I need someone they are never there. They watch me suffer and tell me its my own fault and I turn everything good, to pure evil.

*deep breath*

I'm not going to see my boyfriend for months because of them :(
Fed up of the rainy days and being alone.

Need something to keep me busy. And a way to speed up losing these horrible wobbly legs. I want to look amazing for when he next sees me :) no love handles, flabby arms or thick thighs.


today- 500 calories

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